Gustine Police Department
Domestic violence can take different forms, but its goal is always the same: batterers want total power and control over their partners. They do this by regularly abusing them physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Abusers are very much in control: they hit when they want to, hit as hard as they want to and stop when they are ready.
- PHYSICAL ABUSE
• Slapping, kicking, pushing
• Hitting, choking, punching
• Constant criticism, name calling, shouting
• Making humiliating remarks, mocking
• Not allowing the victim to see friends and relatives
• Monitoring phone calls, reading mail
• Controlling where victim goes
• Taking victim's keys, locking victim out of home
• Making the victim feel guilty
• Pushing the victim into decisions
• Manipulating children and other family members
• Always insisting on being right
• Making up impossible "rules" and punishing the victim for breaking them
• Threatening to harm the victim, children, family members and pets
• Using physical size to intimidate
• Keeping weapons and threatening to use them
• Following or stalking
• Humiliating the victim in public
• Constantly checking up on the victim and his/her whereabouts-extreme jealousy
· Not paying bills, refusing to give victim money
· Not letting victim work or interfering with his/her job
· Refusing to work and support the family
· Lying, breaking promises
· Withholding information
· Being unfaithful
· Being overly jealous
· Not sharing domestic responsibilities
· Manipulating victim with lies and contradictions
· Not expressing feelings
· Not giving compliments, approval, or affection
· Not paying attention to victim
· Not respecting the victim, ignoring his/her feelings, rights and opinions
· Not taking the victim's concerns seriously
· Ridiculing or insulting the victim's most valued beliefs, religion
heritage and class
Children and Domestic Violence
If children are in the home, they too are victims of domestic violence. Children of battered mothers are often victims of physical and emotional abuse. They do not feel safe, and may blame themselves for the violence or their failure to prevent it. Children who live in a violent environment:
· Learn to solve conflicts, problems and frustrations with violence
· Learn to maintain control of others by using violence and threats of violence
· Learn that loved ones have the right to hurt one another
· Often feel guilty, angry and/or responsible for the violence
· Become angry and aggressive with peers, adults, animals and inanimate
· Often confuse love and violence
· Become sad, withdrawn, moody
· Have problems accepting authority
· Demand excessive attention and become very clingy
· Have a low tolerance for frustration
· Violence in the home causes emotional abandonment, fear, anxiety,
feelings of powerless, helplessness, worthlessness, low self-esteem,
isolation, stress, depression, flashbacks
· Grow up to be abusers of their own mates or children
· Children learn from modeling: a daughter will likely accept the abuse just as
her mother, and a son will likely abuse just like his father
Your Rights as a Victim of Family and/or Domestic Violence Include:Arrests and Criminal Complaints:
Family and/or domestic violence, the abuse of power within relationships of family, trust, or dependency, including the victim’s spouse is a crime. It may include emotional or psychological abuse, injury to a family pet, neglect, financial exploitation, destruction or deprivation of property, physical or sexual assault and homicide.
Whenever possible, law enforcement officers will arrest criminal offenders in domestic violence situations. It may not be possible to make an immediate arrest in your case. (i.e. the offender leaves the scene before officers arrive). It is your right to request that the District Attorney File a Criminal Complaint against the offender. Law enforcement officers can accomplish this and assist you by writing a detailed report of your domestic violence/sexual assault case. The investigating officer(s) will take your statement and collect any evidence that may need to be collected and forward the information to the District Attorney’s Office for review. The District Attorney’s Office has the final decision whether to file criminal charges against the offender, and may file a complaint without your permission or cooperation.
When a criminal offense has occurred, but the law prevents the officer from making an arrest, you have the right to make a private persons arrest of the offender. You must tell the officer that you wish to do so and he/she will assist you. When arrested the offender will be released from jail when bail is posted, or upon their written promise to appear in court. The District Attorney Office may require you to sign a criminal complaint against the offender. If your case is prosecuted, you may be required to testify in court. As a side note, the law has changed in the area of Private Persons Arrest. Law Enforcement is no longer legally bound by law to accept a private persons arrest if there is lack of evidence or cooberation of the alleged criminal act.
Orders of Relief (Restraining Orders)You have the right to go to Superior Court and file a petition requesting any of the following Orders of Relied at no cost:
An order restraining the offender from abusing you or other family members.
An order forcing the offender to leave the household.
An order preventing the offender from entering your home, school, business, or place of employment.
An order awarding you, or the other parent custody of, or visitation with a minor child or children.
An order restraining the offender from molesting or interfering with minor children in your custody.
An order directing the party not granted custody to pay support of minor children, if the party has legal obligation to do so.
An order directing the offender to make specific debit payments coming due while the order is in effect.
An order directing the offender to a batterer’s counseling.
An order directing either, or both parties into counseling.
An order of restitution.
Law Enforcement may also be able to call the duty judge and obtain and emergency protective order.
If an order is granted to you, you must remember that the order is only a piece of paper that has been granted by the courts. If the offender is ordered out of the household and to stay away from you and minor children, the offender may still attempt to contact you and the minor children. You must take precautions to protect yourself and the minor children, (I.e. don not let the offender inside the home, change the locks on all doors an windows, hang-up the telephone if the offender calls you, stay in public areas, carry a cellular telephone, tell neighbors that there is a restraining order against the offender and to call 911 if they see the offender, inform your employer/supervisor of the same, let school officials know that a restraining order and or exists if the offender is restrained from having contact with the minor children, call 911 if the offender is in violation of the order or you believe he/she is in or around the house, place of business or school). Additional charges could be filled against the offender if he/she continues to violate orders that have been granted by the court, such as stalking. Remember this is only an order/piece of paper and it will not protect you if the offender decides to violate the order, you must take precautions and call the police immediately.
To obtain a restraining order, contact a Woman’s Place at 722 HELP for an appointment and information, You may choose to obtain the services of an attorney, or you may contact the Superior Court Clerk at 385-7531 for information and to obtain the necessary paperwork. For an emergency protective order, you can contact the local law enforcement agency in the jurisdiction you reside for information. If the assault or abuse took place prior to calling the police, you may request an emergency protective order from the responding, investigating officer(s). Once you have the order, the offender must be served with a copy. A copy of the order and proof of service must be filed with the police departments in the jurisdiction which you reside and work. It is very important to keep a copy of all pertinent court orders and the accompanying proof of service with you at all times. Officers cannot enforce a court order that they cannot verify.
Violation of Court Orders:
If the offender violates a court order in the presence of a police officer, the offender will be arrested. If the offender leaves prior to the arrival of law enforcement, it is your right to request that a criminal complaint be filed against the offender. If the officers are unable to verify the order, you have the right to make a private persons arrest, based on your direct knowledge that a lawful order has been served on the offender. The officers will assist you by taking a report outlining the details of the violation and obtaining a statement. All documents are then forwarded to the District Attorney’s Office for review.
In Case of Sexual Assault:
Remember that sexual assault/rape is illegal even if it is perpetrated against your will by your spouse, boyfriend, cohabitant, room mate, fiancé, or boyfriend.
When law enforcement is called to an incident involving a sexual assault or rape, investigating officers will ask questions which are personal in nature, and you as the victim may not feel comfortable answering these questions. The questions are not being asked with the intent to ridicule you, embarrass, criticize or because the investigating officer's) are curious. The information and questions asked are to assist law enforcement in determining what has occurred. This will assist law enforcement in determining which or what crimes have been committed by the offender. It will also assist with evidence collection and most importantly, determine type of medical treatment that you might need. As a victim you the right to request an advocate from the Woman’s Place be present prior to and during any questions asked if you wish one. If requested by you or offered by law enforcement, the investigating officers will contact the Woman's Place and request that a representative respond to assist you throughout the interview and medical examination. Further assistance from them can be provided to you for court appearances, if needed, obtaining court orders and victim assistance.
Some Guidelines to Remember in Cases of Sexual Assault or Rape:
Contact the police immediately, do not hesitate.
Do not change your clothing.
Do not shower, bathe or clean yourself in anyway.
Do not brush your teeth or hair or use mouth wash.
Seek medical attention immediately
Contact the Women’s Place for referral services
Contact the District Attorney’s Office Victim Assistance Program.
Agencies Which May be of Assistance to You Include:
Shelters, Counseling and Referrals
|Ariday, Hispanic Women’s Ministry ||209-381-0302 |
|A Woman’s Place 24 hour confidential crisis line ||209-722-HELP |
|A Woman’s Place Merced ||209-725-7900 |
|A Woman's Place Los Banos ||209-827-5990 |
|Catholic Social Services ||209-383-2495|
|Family Support Services||209-385-1300 |
|Lao Family Community, Inc. ||209-384-7384 |
|Localink Faith Based Referral Service ||209-381-0302 |
|Merced County Agency on Aging ||209-385-7500 |
|Merced County Victim/Witness Program ||209-725-3515 |
|National Domestic Violence Hotline ||800-799-SAFE |
|National Sexual Assault Hotline ||800-656-HOPE |
|Salvation Army ||209-383-4225 |
|Victim's of Crime Program ||800-777-9229 |
Atwater Police Department
Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault
Dos Palos Police Department
Gustine Police Department Business Line
Dispatch Report Requests
Livingston Police Department
Los Banos Police Department
Merced Police Department
Merced County Adult Protective Services
Merced County Child Welfare Services
Merced County District Attorney's Office
Merced County Probation
Merced County Public Defender's Office
Merced County Sheriff
Merced County Court Clerk
|A Woman's Place ||209-725-7900 |
|Central California Legal Services Merced ||209-723-5466|
|Lawyer's Referral Service ||209-383-3886 |
|Legal Services for Seniors ||209-385-7376 |
|Castle Urgent Care, Atwater ||209-381-2027 |
|Dos Palos Memorial Hospital ||209-392-6121 |
|Memorial Hospital, Los Banos ||209-826-0591 |
|Mercy Medical Center, Dominican, Merced ||209-384-6444 |
|Emergency ||209-384-6501 |
|Mercy Medical Center, Community Campus, Merced ||209-385-7000 |
|Emergency ||209-385-7201 |
|All Sexual assault Cases ||209-385-7201 |
|Golden Valley Health Services, Gustine ||209-862-0270 |
Mental Health Services:
|Merced County Mental Health ||209-381-8600 |
|Livingston Clinic ||209-394-0302 |
|Los Banos Adult Services ||209-827-2185 |
|Los Banos Youth Services ||209-827-2000 |
|For All Parents, A Woman's Place ||209-725-7900|
|Answers Benefiting Children Los Banos ||209-827-2011 |
|Merced College Parenting Academy ||209-381-6453 |
|First Steps ||209-381-1141 |
|H.O.P.E.S. (Coping with child sexual assault) ||209-385-3000 ext 5647 |
|Nurturing Parenting ||209-381-1151 or 209-381-1164 |
|For Teen Parents, A Woman's Place ||209-722-HELP |
|Teen Success Program ||209-723-9913 |
Substance Abuse Programs
|For Adults, Alcoholics Anonymous || |
| Merced ||209-385-6400 |
| Los Banos ||209-826-0924 |
|Community Social Models (men's) ||209-367-5200 |
|Women and Women with Children ||209-367-5200 |
|Families Anonymous ||800-736-9804 |
|For Youth, Recovery Assistance for Teens ||209-381-6860 |
Other Youth Programs
|A Woman's Place ||209-725-7900 |
|California Youth Crisis Line ||800-843-5200 |
|Children in Crisis ||209-357-1926 |
|Gustine P.A.L. ||209-854-3737 |
|Gustine Police Explorers ||209-854-3737 |
|Los Banos P.A.L. ||209-827-0603 |
|Los Banos Police Youth Services ||209-827-7070 |
|Merced Boy's and Girl's Club ||209-722-9922 |
Your Safety Plan:
(Suggestions from the Family Violence Prevention Fund and A Woman’s Place)
If you are in a violent relationship, one of the most important steps you can take is to make a safety plan, both for home and the workplace. These plans contain simple but important steps you can take to increase your safety while you deal with the violence in your personal life.
Provide a picture of the perpetrator to reception areas and or security
The Workplace Safety Plan:
At work, you may want to:
Save any threatening emails or voice mail messages. You can use these to take legal action in the future, if you choose to.
Park close to entrance of your building, and talk with security, the police, and your supervisor if you fear an assault at work.
Have your calls screened, transfer harassing phone calls to security, or remove your name and number from automated phone directories.
Relocate your workspace to a more secure area.
Obtain a restraining order and make sure that it is current and on hand at all times. Include the workplace on the order. Provide a copy to the police and ask your supervisor who else will need a copy.
Identify an emergency contact person should the employer be unable to contact you.
Ask security to escort you to and from your car or public transportation
Look into alternative work hours or work locations.
Review the safety plan of your childcare arrangements, whether it is on-site childcare or off-site. If you have a restraining order, it can usually be extended to the childcare center. Leave a copy at the childcare center.
The Personal Safety Plan:
If time permits, have the following available or in a safe place with a friend or relative:
Important papers, such as birth certificates, social security numbers, insurance cards, insurance information, school and health records, welfare and immigration documents, and divorce or other court documents.
Cash, credit cards, bank account numbers, and ATM cards.
An extra set of keys.
Medications and prescriptions.
Phone numbers and addresses of family members, friends, doctors, lawyers, and community agencies.
Clothing and comfort items for you and children.
If you had the Perpetrator Evicted or are Living alone, you may want to:
Change locks on all doors and windows.
Install an alarm system, window bars, locks, better lighting, smoke detectors and fire extinguishers.
Teach your children to call the police or family friends if they are taken.
Talk to schools and childcare providers about who has permission to pickup the children and provide them with a copy or the restraining order
Find a lawyer knowledgeable about family violence to explore custody, visitation, and divorce provisions that protect you and your children .
Obtain a restraining order.
Talk with a neighbor and arrange a signal that will alert them to call the police.
If you are leaving your Abuser, ask yourself the following questions:
How and when can you most safely leave? Where will you go?
Are you comfortable calling the police if you need them?
Who can you trust to tell that you are leaving?
How will you travel safely to and from work, school, park?
What community recourses will help you fell safer?
Do you know the number to the local shelter?
What custody and visitation provisions will keep you and your children as feeling safe?
Is a restraining order a viable option?
If you are staying with your batterer, think about:
What works best to keep you safe in an emergency?
Who can you call in a crisis?
If you would call the police if the violence starts again. Can you work out a signal with the children or the neighbors to call the police when you need help?
If you need to flee temporarily, where would you go? Think through several places where you can go in a crisis. Write down addresses and phone numbers, and keep them with you.
Plan with your children. Identify a safe place for them: a room with a lock, a neighbors house where they can go. Reassure them that their job is to stay safe, not to protect them.
Look over the following questions:
Think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it’s abuse.
1. Embarrass you, or make fun of you in front of friends or family?
2. Put down your accomplishments or goals?
3. Make you fell like you are unable to make decisions?
4. Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
5. Tell you that you are nothing without them?
6. Treat you roughly, grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
7. Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you
are where you said you would be?
8. Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things?
9. Blame you for how they feel or act?
10. Pressure you sexually for things you are not ready for?
11. Make you fell like there is no way out of the relationship?
12. Prevent you from doing things you want?
13. Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you some
where after a fight to teach you a lesson?
14. Put you or the children out of the house?
Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
Constantly make excuses to other people for your behavior?
Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself
Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
Feel he/she will harm you or the children?
Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
If any of these are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without help, the abuse will continue